The doctor is wrong. My due date must be January 3 instead of February 3, as there is no possible way for my body to continue to increase in size.

Disturbing sight. I'm old-fashioned in that I think the proper way to mop a floor is on your hands and knees. I don't trust the countless mopping gadgets, and considering the amount of money we've dumped into the floors in this house, I'm not taking a chance on a gadget. In addition to being old-fashioned, I have terrible knees. Therefore, I wear volleyball knee pads when I mop floors. As part of Nesting Palooza 2010, I decided that the downstairs floors needed to be mopped. A beached whale crawling around on its hands and knees donning Wilson knee pads ... disturbing. However, I have clean floors and can cross that item off of the list.

Not yet. The ride home from family holiday celebrations was a clock-watching ride, as every 7-10 minutes there was some kind of randomness starting in my back and working its way around that didn't feel normal. (Not that anything going on with my body is normal at this point.) Matt wanted to call the doctor when we got home. I opted for the "chug water and relax on your left side" instructions. Seemed to help. Feeling better today, but my back still feels like I've been kicked and not sure if the belly feelings are baby moving or more of what I was feeling last night.

Eeeek. The Starbucks barista could not get my order right this morning, and wanted to make my drink a triple ... that would be three shots of espresso. It crossed my mind to tell her she was coming with me for the day if my drink contained that much caffeine. Her job ... to hold down this kid's arms and legs.

Stats. Had another appointment today. Heart rate was 131 -- down from 150 at the last appointment. According to the books, the baby now weighs 4.7 pounds and is 18 inches long. Uh, yikes.

Dear Kittle's Sales Associate ... You suck. I was ready to throw money at you tonight if you would have been able to find the time to show me some nursery glider options. I realize I looked like a slob, but last I checked, sweatshirt + jeans + ponytail does not equal brain dead. Therefore, don't try to tell me two chairs are exactly the same when I can see a price difference and my feet don't touch the floor in the more expensive model. Furthermore, go get your eyes checked. Cream and white are not the same thing. Unfortunately, I couldn't give you a lesson in knowing your colors because you left us to go deal with another customer. Rest assured that my hormonal brain has forgotten your name, but I will not have difficulty remembering your face the next time I am forced to enter your store.

Quote.

"When thinking about my To Do list for the day, I never expected that this would be part of it."

Said by Matt, and don't ask what he had to do. It's going to the grave.

Eating is painful. Regardless of what I choose to consume, this kid goes into action. Karate kicks. Back handsprings. Right uppercuts and left hooks. It hurts. Unfortunately, this conundrum does not appear to have a solution.

Couldn't take it. Went rolling around under my desk today to pick up the Sweet Tart.

Slob. Dropped a Sweet Tart, and it rolled under my desk. Normally I'd immediately be on the floor, moving whatever needed to be moved to grab it and toss it in the trash. Not today. I left it. It wasn't worth the effort of bending over.

Dear Sweet Child,

Please quit playing tetherball with my internal organs.

Sincerely,
Your Loving Mother

Stats. Heart rate at the appointment today was 150. Asked the nurse about the old wives' tales that predict the sex of the baby. She said they're all crap. Regardless, I pulled up the Chinese Lunar Calendar when I got back to work ... according to that, we're having a girl.