Perusing Martha Stewart's "Hors D'oeuvres Handbook" ... trying to decide which recipes are best for people who have eight teeth.

Maren slept for nearly 15 hours last night. Jealous. Extremely jealous.

Maren's treat for Santa ... looks like he enjoyed it, but we've shared that he might appreciate something more substantial next year.

“Ma Ma” has finally become part of Maren’s vocabulary … never thought something so simple would be so fun to hear.

Day Nursery Sock Burglar. According to Miss Dolly, Maren quickly removes her own socks once arriving at daycare ... and then she trolls around the room and removes all of her friends' socks.

Completely desperate. I put breast milk in my eye this morning. On purpose. I'm so tired of having issues with my eyes that I've started trying the random things I've read about online.

Hand-foot-and-mouth disease ... check.

Ordering breakfast at Cafe Patachou ... I will try your waffles, wheat toast, an omelet, and some strawberries and grapes. I'll have water to drink. And, just so you know, I brought my own side of banana. Thank you.

Double ear infection ... check.

Miss Maren's gingerbread house!

One tired little girl.

Got stuck behind a gaggle of high school girls at Target tonight. I caught myself staring a few times ... trying to comprehend what it will be like to parent that sort of obnoxiousness in a few years.

Helping with the Christmas tree lights.

Positive thinking. I am not getting sick again. I am not getting sick again. I am not getting sick again. I am not getting sick again. I am not getting sick again ...

Lesson learned. When all of your 9-month-old’s sleepers are dirty, don’t try to cram her into a 3-6 month sleeper. She’ll wake up at 4:00 a.m., let you know you were stupid for trying such a thing, and then punish you by staying awake for an hour.

Being super silly after bath time!

With the help of Grandma Theobald, Miss Maren decorated cookies for me for my birthday!

Organic. Low in fat. Low in sodium. Whatever. Because I can't stop eating them when they are supposed to be a snack for Maren, I'm calling them evil.

First snow of the winter season ... Miss Maren is ready!

I think every article of clothing I own has a certain nine-month-old's snot on it.

Really, Mom ... I'm gonna give up jammies and onesies in a few years for stuff like this ...

I forgot to feed Maren dinner tonight. Brilliant.

Our house smells like poop and broccoli. Maren's diaper lost a battle right before we left for California ... resulting in the obliterated outfit getting sealed up in a bag ... a bag that was forgotten about until today. The broccoli stench is from the latest baby food experiment. Wanna come over and enjoy this olfactory sensation with us?

California fun ... Matthew and Sarah's wedding!

Maren attended her first Halloween party at the Indianapolis Children's Museum tonight. We believe the Haunted House Committee needs to work on its scare factor. Why? Maren slept ... through the entire thing.

Ladies and Gentlemen ... we have a crawler!

It's still a little awkward and slow, but I'm saying it qualifies. What motivates Miss Maren to move ... placing Archie's food dish on the floor.

Road trips to Iowa are tough.

Okay ... so how many days is it until Uncle Matthew's wedding when I get to wear my new purple outfit?

I think I vomited a tiny bit when I had to put Maren on one of those changing station things in a public restroom tonight. As I tried my damndest to keep her from touching anything, the Jaws theme song started to play in my head ... thinking of all the flesh-eating bacteria that had to be living on the thing. To finish the mess off, I'll just tell you it doesn't work to try and use your foot to get the station back into place on the wall ... I repeat ... it does not work.

Dear Maren,

One of my new favorite things is that little crease that appears next to your nose when you smile.

Love,
Mom

Seriously, people ... just let me do this myself.

Cape Coral, Florida ... Maren versus the pool noodle.

Cape Coral, Florida ... swimming with Daddy.

AirTran Flight 1150 to Fort Myers, Florida ... Mommy and Maren playing a little solitaire to pass the time on Maren's first flight.

I'm writing a script for a horror film ... Attack of the Pea-Cauliflower Vomit is my proposed title for this masterpiece.

Listening to what the instructor has to say at our first swim lesson ...

Sleep ... I miss you.

Seven months old today ...

Would one of you please get me a blanket ... this stuff you call grass is strange.

While shopping at Target tonight, I learned I still don't have full control of my bladder. I can only assume the individual monitoring the security cameras got great jollies out of watching a 32-year-old woman in the greeting card aisle frantically grab herself ... as if the grabbing was going to stop the dribbling.

Party hats and pupcakes to celebrate Archie's 6th birthday!

The Jarvis Baby Food Factory is up and running ...

Count 'em ... one, two! Maren Jarvis has two teeth!

Picking a book for storytime.

Swim lessons. September through November, Maren will be taking a dip in the IU Natatorium pool on Saturday mornings. I think Matt and I might fight over who gets to be in the water with her.

And the million dollar question is ... do we or don't we have an allergy to Amoxicillin? Regardless, Miss Maren is trying out a new round of drugs as we continue to wage war against this ear infection.

First sick visit to the doctor. First ear infection. First round of antibiotics. I am not excited to record these "firsts" ...

Trying rice cereal for the first time ... my interpretation of the second photo is that she is not appreciative of her mother's paparazzi-like behavior with such events.

Six-month checkup. Weighed 15 lbs, 9 oz and measured 26 inches long.

Weapons of mass destruction ... have they thought about expanding the definition to include daycare germs?

You can now add breast milk to the list of ridiculous things our dog has consumed.

We went out for dinner tonight ... this is how she chose to sit.

Mommy and Maren ... playing with Photo Booth.

Dear Maren,

That's it. I swear your daycare is selling my breast milk. Or maybe they are mixing it in the big kids' mashed potatoes. Regardless, I'm launching my investigation and you may need to participate. We'll start your training tonight by watching a few episodes of CSI.

Love,
Inspector Mom

Cleaning poop out of an upholstered couch pillow ... not something I had planned to include on today's agenda.

Posting simply because it makes me smile.

I think Maren's pinky toes are as long as mine.

Maren's first date. Ben was a gentleman, sharing his play mat for the evening ... Maren and I, however, had a discussion on the way home about not showing off your belly to boys.

Maren's first dip in the lake ... all smiles and lots of kicking!

I have one bra that provides the support necessary for me to be seen by those who don't reside in our home. Sitting in the Starbucks drive-through this morning, I realized I have worn this bra for two weeks without washing it. (Insert image of me twitching upon coming to this realization.) There is no time for laundry tonight, so guess I'll make that two weeks and one day.

It appears she is somewhat annoyed to be playing with something sporting a head as large as hers ...

Dear Maren,

Las Vegas was fun, but I'm so happy to be back home with you and Daddy.

Love,
Mom

Warning. The next time you see me, I might be bald. The books say you aren't supposed to lose your hair until you're done nursing, but scary amounts are leaving my head on a daily basis. If you're in the market for a dirty-blond wig with some funky platinum streaks, give me a call.

A rough day at the lake.

Mental adjustment for Mommy. I need to be happy with what I get done, and stop obsessing about what I don't get done. Fat chance I'll be able to make this adjustment. But I'm trying.

Maren's first overnight with Grandma Jarvis. Matt and I aren't sure what to do with ourselves. (And we miss our little girl.)

3:12 p.m. Had a voicemail from Miss Vanessa at Day Nursery. Maren rolled over from her back to her belly for the first time.

First family wedding ... slept through the ceremony, but was quite the conversationalist at the reception.

Four-month checkup. Weighed 13 lbs, 5 oz and measured 24.75 inches long.

Memorial Day Weekend 2011 ... Maren attends her first pool party.

One of my favorite things about weekday mornings ... Matt choosing Maren's outfit for the day.

First trip to the lake ... it appears she fully understands these weekends are all about relaxing.

Little Miss Maren's room is finally complete.

I'm a big girl ... sitting in my bumbo seat and playing with my rattle!

Breast Pump Engineer. All I'm saying is I forgot some parts at home when I left for work today, but with a roll of tape, I was able to get the job done.

Dear Maren,

Thank you for making me a mommy.

Love,
Mom (Mother's Day 2011)

Hello ... can't you see I'm currently busy with tummy time!

Maren is fighting her first cold. Daddy is also down for the count. Mommy is trying to ignore a scratchy throat, and Archie is staying the hell away from all of us.

Maren's first Mutt Strut with Archie at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. (Confession ... I converted this picture to black and white because that makes it harder to see the extreme amount of grease in my unwashed hair.)

My phone battery seems to be pooping out faster than normal this week ... I'm guessing it's because I sneak a peek at the pictures I have of Maren on my phone when I start to miss her. One of my favorites ...

Going back to work today. Feel like I'm starting a new job. Feel like I could throw up.

Happy Easter!

Maren goes to daycare for the first time today. I go back to work on Monday. Makes me sad to look back at hospital pictures and wonder where time went.

Baking with a small child in the house can be dangerous. You get distracted ... you sing fifteen rounds of "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" and suddenly ... you've torched a coffee cake like nobody's business.

The ability to "sleep in" is impossible when nursing. Why? You can't rest peacefully with what feels like ten-pound, flaming boulders on your chest.

Check out my new hat ... I could wear it if the silly sun would come out!

It's not a bruise ... it's not a bite or a scratch ... it's a hickey. Our daughter is sucking on her arm so hard that she's giving herself hickeys. What the heck?

Dear Maren,

I apologize for shoving a pacifier into everything on your face but your mouth yesterday while driving. I can only hope that my blind pacifier placement skills will improve before our next automobile adventure.

Love,
Mom

Meeting Uncle Matthew.