Dear Santa,

Until my toddler met you today, she did not know about Barbie.  Now she thinks she needs one.  I did not think visits with you were supposed to work like this.

Sincerely,
Please Let Maren Forget About This by Tomorrow Morning

So fun to be one ... posing for a family photo on Maddie's birthday!

Our wind-up tub toy has another spin cycle.

Check It Out!

You know those wind-up tub toys with arms that spin around to make them swim … we have one that doesn’t require batteries.

Go Maddie, Go

Matt cannot rake the leaves into piles fast enough.

Well, lovely.  Maddie has figured out how to remove outlet covers.  I’m calling Safety 1st to see if they would like to pay her for product testing.

My work bag got dumped on the floor today.  I’m saying Maren was responsible for the spill unless Maddie has developed an abnormal level of strength for her size.  When asked what happened, though, Maren said Maddie did it.  And so it begins …

Showing off two of her three teeth!

We located the most ghetto pumpkin patch in the city this evening. I was thankful Maren wasn't asking questions (and that Maddie can't talk) as I was off-roading our sedan through a field trying to determine what was happening at this so-called farm.  Before exiting the property, Maren posed with some very lopsided, large pumpkins. 

Maren's "reading" glasses.

Maddie's nine-month checkup.  Weighed 17 lbs and measured 28 inches long.

Finding clean underwear that had fallen behind the washer made my day.  I should probably make a note, though, to research the effects of dust mites on lady parts. 

Combining fashion and function ... she marched downstairs and told me she had to wear the leggings to protect herself from the sun.  (Yes, we left the house with this ensemble intact.)

Maddie is more of a nut with food than Maren.  These poor girls are going to be relegated to all-you-can-eat buffets when they start dating.

"I cut it in half" ... spoken by the person in our household who is currently potty training.

We're four hours into potty training and we're dry.  This accomplishment is not a result of Maren mastering the task ... it's a result of her simply not going.

Mom. Dad. Maren. Maddie. Archie.  We all napped (at the same time) today.  There are no words to describe this event.

We have a rock star in the house.  She wears a collapsible dog water bowl for a hat, uses a golf club for a microphone, and has some serious mixing skills.  Did you know one song could include lyrics from "BINGO," "Down by the Bay," "Pop Goes the Weasel," Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star," and "The Itsy Bitsy Spider"?

Two of a kind ...

Maren fell down today.  She's claiming Archie kicked her.

Maren notified me this evening that I have a boo boo on my face.  My boo boo is a zit that is obviously large enough to attract the attention of small children.

Mommy and Maren.

Maddie's six-month checkup.  Weighed almost 15 lbs and measured 27 inches long.

My hair is so greasy that Matt just asked me if I'd showered.  

Maddie playing with hats ... Mommy playing with the camera.

I have become the person who, approximately two years ago, I did not understand ... the person who has a brain so full of holes from kids she keeps buying crap she already has.  Three tubs of sour cream ... four boxes of quinoa ... two jars of dill pickles ... three boxes of saran wrap ... four bags of shredded cheddar cheese ... eighteen pieces of salmon (thank you, Costco) ... twenty-five bars of Dove soap (again, thank you, Costco).  I'm sure I could come up with some witty thing to say about what I plan to make with all of this junk, but I think I should use the brain power to double-check my errand list. 

Not so sure about her first haircut ...

Maren Katherine Jarvis ... Summer 2013

Hip, hip, hooray ... according to the ortho doc, Maddie's hip joint has normalized!

Prior to leaving the house for a family walk this evening, we had to convince Maren it was not appropriate to wear my underwear over her leggings.

Maren caught her first fish this weekend ... and didn't want a thing to do with it.  Meanwhile, her fishing pal, Leyton, got so excited he fell over.

Madeline Frances Jarvis ... Five Months

Silly sisters!

Extremely interested in how Archie conducts his business ...

Maren and Archie

Mother's Day 2013 ... The Frances Ladies

Posting just because it made me chuckle!

Days when you kick booty, but it's still not enough ... suck.

Maren and Maddie had their first tug of war over a toy today.  Surprisingly, Maddie went at it with both hands and won.

Mutt Strut 2013 … Maren takes a run with the pooches down the final straightaway at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.

Mutt Strut 2013

Maren took a trip to the Indianapolis Zoo today with Grandma Jarvis.  Before leaving, Maren declared she was going to ride an elephant and run with the lions.  Good luck, Grandma …

Fudge.  Maren can now lock, unlock, and open doors.

Trying on dresses with the hopes of finding something to wear to a formal work event is great fun when your two-year-old is flipping the bedroom light off and on every 30 seconds.

Maren currently narrates her every move and often proclaims “uh oh” when something goes wrong.  We’re in trouble when she catches on to how useful this is to us as her parents.

Based on this look, I'm going to go ahead and predict that we have another spunky one on our hands.

Half of today's work outfit came from the pile of dirty clothes on our bedroom floor ... I guess this is better than last week's stunt of forgetting to brush my teeth one day.

Maren met a new friend today at the park. I asked her to tell me about her while we were eating dinner and her response was, "Coco, dirty diaper. Coco poop a lot."  Sounds like they bonded if they are already discussing bodily functions.

Capturing a milestone for Maddie ... I fear the majority of Maddie's videos will have interference similar to what is seen here.

Maddie Rolling Over

Champion Bubble Blower

Dear Maddie,

Don't tell your daddy, but I might have fallen asleep with you on the couch last night on purpose.  You are getting too big too fast and I wanted some quiet snuggle time with you.

Love you bunches,
Mom

I did not know this level of exhaustion existed.

She told me she was ready for work ... I'm going to have to see if tube socks, high heels, and this pose do anything for me at the new job.

Maren wanted to make sure Maddie didn't get bored ...

We love smoothies!

Quoting a cartoon I recently saw ... "Where's the cooking show with the baby hanging off your leg, screaming for a popsicle, while you try to microwave a vegetable?"

The first week at the new job has come to a close and Matt requested I confirm he is still speaking to me and I still have the ability to respond in complete sentences.

The challenge of a new job with a toddler and a newborn starts tomorrow.  Fingers are crossed Matt is still speaking to me at the end of the week ... and I still have the ability to respond in complete sentences.

A Madeline Jarvis Masterpiece

A sad moment in my role as a parent tonight ... I buckled and used a bribe when Maren wouldn't leave her shoes on at the grocery store.  I will say I have some major learning to do in bribery ... my bribe failed and somehow Maren still ended up with a treat.

11:15 a.m. -- Maren agrees to hang out in the bathroom and read books while I shower.

11:20 a.m. -- I peek out of the shower to see Maren playing in the toilet.

11:30 a.m. -- Maren asks to get on the bed while I'm getting dressed.  She promptly turns on the television and informs me she is watching baseball.

11:35 a.m. -- I catch Maren digging boogers out of her nose.

11:36 a.m. -- I look at Maren and expect to find her scratching her crotch.  I thought girls were supposed to be sugar and spice and everything nice.

San Francisco, California ... fun at the park with Dylan and Asher!

San Francisco Fun

Big sister ... making sure her little sister is okay on her first airplane flight.

My text to Matt this afternoon ... "Maren is standing up in bed, clapping her hands together, and shouting 'gross' ... one guess at what I found when I went up there ... "

No explanation necessary if you're familiar with breast pumps.

We're in trouble ... Maren and I are already fighting over who gets time at the bathroom vanity.

Seriously, Mom ... this picture is not doing a thing for me in my quest to find a date for Valentine's Day.

Maren is taking the proper precautions for cold and flu season here at the house ... I recently found her wiping the handle of her toy grocery cart with a baby wipe.

How is it possible that I have less than a month of maternity leave left?

Hello, Miss Maddie!

Happy 2nd Birthday, Maren ... starting the day off right with some of the finest sugar in town from Long's Bakery!

I promise she did this herself.

We're still giving Maddie baths in the kitchen sink.  Maren informed me she was giving her baby a bath today ...

The increase in productivity during nap time is amazing.  If our kids try to kick naps before they are 15, I may consider lacing their lunches with drugs.

Whoa, sister ... I think you need to find a new beauty shop.

And trumping yesterday's ensemble ... today we have a maternity bikini accessorized with leggings and boots.

We do high fashion in the Jarvis household ... this was today's "shopping" outfit.

Mastering the balance beam at our first tumbling class.

Matt made a run to New York this week for work ... Maren's video to him.

Bye Bye Daddy

Hands-free boob thing for pumping ... best invention on the planet.

You asked me to pose ... does this work?

Should we be concerned that our almost-two-year-old daughter requests timeouts?